In an effort to calm my growing pre race jitters, I turn to Blogger to share my profound thanks and appreciation to everyone who has given me the motivation and encouragement to keep working for the ultimate goal I've set out before me. As Bryan and I ate our lunch this afternoon, we reminded ourselves why we sat here on the porch of an AirBnB just outside of Coolum Beach, on the shores of the Sunshine Coast, on a land further than either Bryan and I have ever traveled, in Australia. Ironically, neither of us mentioned that honeymoon we thought this trip would help us to celebrate our recent marriage in June. Rather, the memories of waking up at 4 o'clock in the morning, multiple mornings, one day after another, to finish one workout before work so our arrival might allow us enough time to complete yet another workout midday and/or upon returning home, flooded our minds.
We have come so far. Yet I found myself smothered in waves of self doubt. When I looked out over the churning waters while walking along the Mooloolaba Esplanade this afternoon, wave upon wave crashed upon the shores, mimicking the ones rattling my brain. Perhaps I should only feel happy to be here; feel satisfied enough to toe the starting line. I find it ironic that, just after climbing into our Hertz van to make the drive home to rest the afternoon away, my phone conversation with my coach ended on what felt like an uncomfortable note. He pushed me for a finishing time and age group placing. No "I hope to," or "I think I cans" sufficed. Derek wanted an answer. He wanted confidence.
He wanted to hear me say, win. In truth, after committing myself to achieving this goal, I have to trust my efforts have been legitimate. I have to know I can do it. Therefore, I look forward to seeing this most difficult and challenging process yield a beautiful destination. I am already here in one of the prettiest places I have yet explored. It's time to embellish it. Tomorrow, I yearn to burst this brewing bubble of emotions that have welled up within me over the past 6 weeks. Where once waves of doubt overwhelmed me, let explosions of fireworks win.
|When on the Sunshine Coast, relish the sunrise.|
|The backdrop for my Quintana Roo in transition is second to|
none. With over 3000 athletes here, so is the run out of transition.
|Best of skill to my Big Sexy teammates, whom we shared the|
company of over lunch yesterday.